I’m a Tall Enthusiast

“You’re really tall!”
“Oh really? Wow, thanks for telling me that. I never noticed.”
First of all, I, Emma, am really not that tall. I’m almost 5’11”.  The average height for an American male is 5’10” (it’s true. seriously, google it) and the average height for an American female is apparently 5’4″. Maybe I feel like I’m a giant, because I was always a head taller than everyone until about my sophomore year in high school. But at that point, the boys had caught up to me and some had even passed me.  Yet, without fail, I somehow still get all the tall comments.  Heck, I’m not even over 6 feet!  I like being tall, it has its advantages.  I can always reach things without getting a stool.  I’ve been able to ride the rides at amusement parks much longer than people my age.  I can see over people’s heads in the movies and in crowds.
Here are some of my favorite comments I’ve gotten over the years. More than ten times.

“How did you get to be so tall?”
“Oh, you know. Lots of stretching. Every night I’d stretch my arms high up to the ceiling, and next thing you know, I’m huge.”
“Woah. Where did you get your height from?”

“I’m not really sure. My dad’s basically my height.”
“You must play volleyball.”
“Nope, I don’t actually.”
“Man, what a waste of your height!”
“Thanks.” Walk away thinking, wow. You’re short, you must play miniature golf.

Standing in the sun. Small people follow you around. “Hey, can you just stand…right there?” Right in front of the sun? I get to be used for shade! Wow! Lucky me!  Exasperated sigh, “Sure.”
“Wanna share some height?”
“Oh yeah, no problem. Here’s a couple inches.”

“You can’t wear heels! You’re just tall enough to the point where you’re not intimidating. That’d just be scary.” Well thank you, I’ve always wanted to scare people!
Twice, twice this happened to me. My little brother Ben’s friends whisper into his ear:
“Woah! Your sister’s HUGE!” 
Hey. Pick on somebody your own size. Tall people have feelings too.
I feel bad for anyone with long legs who tries to sit in the Marriott Center at BYU. I have to sit sideways in order to fit.

Studies show that tall people are happier and make more money.
And after reading this clip (http://www.prlog.org/10529749-jokes-about-being-tall.html) below.
I really do embrace my height. Seriously.

Tall ladies may also be subjected to attempted ridicule over their height. Likewise it’s important that they are emotionally equipped to have the strength to deal with such juvenile behaviour as using jokes about tall people. Tall ladies should be proud of their tall stature, but may also choose to be cognisant of their clothing so as not to over play their height. At all times they must keep in mind that the advantages of being tall far outweigh the disadvantages of being tall. Hence coping with the occasional tall person joke should be seen as one of those occasional hazards of being tall.
If you choose to tell jokes about tall people in public, be aware of the hurt they could cause. Most times it will be innocent fun between friends and us tall people will not take offence, especially if we are not within earshot. But think before you joke about tall people. For some innoffensive jokes about tall people and lots more on the joys of being tall, please go to http://www.beingtall.com.

Really? Tall jokes are a hazard? I actually find them quite hilarious. And no, I don’t downplay my height.

Now, I’m just gonna go put on those heels I own so I can be 6’2″.  Hopefully I don’t scare anyone 😛

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