when there’s nothing to write about

I’m stuck in a rut. Yes, being stuck in a rut is the most cliche phrase ever, but I don’t know what else to say other than being stuck in a rut is the absolute worst.

I’m overwhelmingly busy and yet at the same time I feel completely bored out of my mind.  There is so much to do and yet there is nothing to do. Nothing meaningful to do, any way.

I find that when I feel this way this is when I start doing the things that I hate myself for doing – eating way more than any normal person should, stop working out, stop sleeping, and start watching more Netflix than is healthy.  It’s when I start procrastinating and begrudgingly doing as minimal amounts of work as possible. It’s awful.  My mind goes in self-destructive circles.

I was talking with my sister Mary about this, and she told me to start writing more and blogging more because it’s a hobby and it’s something to do that isn’t work-related.  The hardest part about writing on a blog though, is feeling like you need to be filling your life with activities so you have something to blog about.  And literally, I do the same monotonous thing every day. So… what is there to write about?

This sounds so depressing and it’s not meant to be 🙂 It’s just a reflection about how feeling that our lives need to be filled with cute pictures and activities all the time to feel like our life is worth sharing.  I’ve not published many blog posts because they don’t seem worth it.  But, when there’s nothing to write about… I write about how there’s nothing to write about, because maybe that’s how other people who write on blogs feel too.

I don’t want to fake my life through this blog, I just want it to be real.  I want it to be something that my kids can read one day and they sense who I am through my words.  They will laugh at my struggles and see my adventures. While being stuck in a rut isn’t the ideal situation, it happens to all of us. So I’m publishing this post unedited without taking out all of the extra words that I always write. Because it’s where I’m at in life. There is nothing to write about which in the end is something to write about.

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