Today I Met an Angel: A Letter to my Future Husband

[DISCLAIMER: I wrote this on December 13, 2014. But reading it again helped me remember a lot of things, and I’m publishing it in order to hold myself accountable. Sorry for the lack of pictures.  This is more of just a wordy blog post and I know that can be annoying but it’s just how it is. I would also like to point that that even though envelope guy and I hadn’t started “officially” dating yet, I was definitely thinking of him when I wrote this post. ]

Dear future husband,

Today I met an angel. But let me tell you the story leading up to why she was an angel. It’s kind of long and I’m sorry, but each point just built up into the next and all of the events seem important.
I was in Los Altos for the week with the most adorable cousins in the world. I played legos all day, was a bridge, an airplane, and went up and down that slide so many times we lost count.

Lately I’ve been really… reflecting, I guess you could say. Trying decide what I want out of life. Heavenly Father sent me lots of people that asked me lots of questions. And tonight, when I met an angel, I figured it all out. It all came together.

It began by talking with Uncle Mike at Sweet Tomatoes. He asked me if I had any big travel plans after my mission. Of course I want to travel, but I hadn’t put much thought to making it actually happen. But then he said, if you want to do it, do it. No one’s stopping you.  I said, okay, I will dream! And my uncle said: dream? No! make it happen! Go live on a couch in New York for the summer. Now is the time to do all that stuff. Okay, maybe I don’t want to live on a couch in New York, but I do want to adventure. The thing is, I don’t have all of these big dreams to go live in New York for a year on a couch by myself.  I dream about having a family and starting that chapter of my life. (yeah, make fun of the cliche all you want…)

So, future husband, we’re going to travel. I hope you’re okay with that, because I want to explore the world a little bit. Before we have kids. Oh, and it’d be a plus if you liked photography. Because we need someone to document this. Start saving your money.

Next. I am in the taxi with 2 indian drivers. I really didn’t feel like talking, I felt like daydreaming. And maybe it’s the missionary in me or something, but I felt guilty not talking to them… And then they start talking to me. At first I am really annoyed, because he keeps swearing every other word. But then I start listening, really listening to what he is actually saying… and I am fascinated. He tells me all about Hindu weddings in his town in India. He tells me about his fiance in London and how he doesn’t want to marry her until he goes back to India, because he wants to have a huge party for 5 days. He tells me how hard it is for him to go through the airports here, how he misses his family, and how he hates the drivers in Los Altos. We talk about life, the world, and about marriage. I tell him – hey, we believe we can be with our families forever. I tell him about Joseph Smith. I tell him about Christ and His sacrifice for us. He tells me about God, true yoga, and feeling connected to God through being physically at peace with ourselves. It was beautiful. We shared our faiths, and we were respectful towards one another. He taught me not to judge, to listen, and he showed me that I loved talking to this random man about his passions, his hopes, and his dreams.

Fast forward to the airport. (I’m running at this point, because traffic was really bad.) I arrive, last one at the gate. My people-watching turns on like crazy in airports. I’m observing this girl, she’s telling everyone everything about her life all around her. I have already learned within one minute that she is in law school, that her boyfriend is a software engineer, that all of her ex-boyfriends are software engineers, and that she is a nanny.

I get on the plane. I end up sitting next to law-school girl and this beautiful woman with the biggest smile you’ve ever seen, the kindest woman you’ve ever talked to. The three of us start talking and sharing with each other about our lives. Oh my goodness, I was in my happy place. Law-school girl is asleep after 20 minutes, so I start talking to the woman next to me. I don’t know why, but next thing you know we’ve completely opened up to each other. Oh, I want to cry just thinking about it. I tell her all of my worries, my inner conflicts with my major, everything. She gives advice for a living – she’s a consultant, a career I was considering going into. She gives me advice for my job, and she helps me discover my secret passion, that I’ve known all along, I just didn’t think I could actually do it.

We discuss what it means to be introverted. Remember how I thought I was an extrovert? Nope. I lied. I take it back. I am an introvert. And being an introvert doesn’t mean I am anti-social. Take it or leave it people, I’m an introvert. And then I asked her,  “Do you think introverts and extroverts should marry each other?” And she said, “No. My husband and I are content sitting on the same couch reading 2 different books, and are just content being in the same room as each other.”  And as I heard that, I thought… heaven. That’s what I need. So future husband, it’s okay if you’re introverted and that I’m introverted. Actually it’s better that way. I love people, so I’m not anti-social… there’s a difference. I can be social when needs be, but let’s just travel the world and read books all day, okay? I’m excited.

Then I finally realize it as I was talking to her: “Let’s be honest, if life were perfect, I just want to interview people all day and learn their stories, and then write about it.”

“Do it.” She says.

And I say, with all of my thoughts fumbling together at once… “yes.  Yes. I should just do it.”  Then I say again… “yeah!  I’ll do it!  What has been stopping me?”

And the thought just filled my heart with happiness. I can’t explain it.

I don’t know if that leaves me with a major. I could keep going with Anthropology so that I can have a lens to look at all of this through.

Or I could do English. Because let’s be honest, my writing needs some serious help. And I love writing.

It doesn’t really matter.

She says – “Just find someone right now. Start writing their story. And then try and get it published.”

It felt so right.

She was my angel. Michelle, thank you. My first book will be dedicated to you.

There ya go. I don’t know where that leaves me, but I have some dreams. And I’m going to chase them. Because I can, and who is going to stop me? I guess I’m telling you this because I hope you’re on board too. It will be fun, I promise.

Love,
Emma